My Life's a Dream, My Fears Are Nightmares..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim, Assalamu'alaikum.

As I feared of all these past years with you came to reality. It hurts. I can't bear the pain that you left for me. It was unfair. Especially almost 7 years together, you decided to walked out of my life without any reasons.

How can you asked me to stay but you're the one who leave? why? And it happened on the holy month of Ramadhan! Can you imagine that, I cry myself at sahur. Alone. Having hard times to hide my tears from my family especially my parents.

I loved you, and you said you loved me too. So much! It was one of the last thing you text me. Said you are sorry for hurting me all these times. What do you mean by that? What have you done actually? I never know.

My best friend said this is a test from Allah SWT. There's hikmah for all you've done. Your sisters said that too. I want to accept the fact you're leaving but I wasn't prepared for that. Thought you'll be my last of everything. I planned for everything for our future together, but losing you wasn't part of it. You too had planned everything don't you remember? Don't even want to lose me you said, everyday! Why sudden change? After everything we shared together; laughs, arguments, passions.. too much to mention.

But after a while, I said this to myself. Allah SWT indeed is the best planner and my best friend and your sisters were right. There's hikmah for this. I turned my heart and soul to Him. I've sinned, forget about Him. Astaghfirullah.

my girl friend sent me this via FB messenger

Alhamdulillah, Though my heart do still hurting, but loving Allah more put great ease in my heart. Even though I'm in pain, I'll ask Allah to cure my heartache everyday since you left. I hope you know, my love is greater than my hate for you, with all the memories we had created together there's no space for me to hate you entirely. I missed you. I'd still mentioned your name in my prayers. :') 

pic source: izatinut.tumblr.com

What I need to do from now on is Sabr. In Shaa Allah, everything will be fine.